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Know me

How old are you?

42(!). I'm getting older....but wiser? A little. But also happier, healthier, gentler, kinder and definitely more appreciative of all the good things, experiences and people in my life (including my wonderful sensual massage clients in Chicago). 

Aging isn't a curse. It's a gift. 


What do you look like?

shoulder length brunette hair, green eyes, fair skin with freckles, high cheekbones

short, c cup breasts. Very lovely feet.

I am a very average looking, curvy, feminine size 12. 


What's your ethnic background? 

​I'm Caucasian, a feisty mix of Eastern European and German.

What celebrity do you resemble? 

None, really. I am pretty. I'm very much the well educated, uppity woman next door who has a very pretty face.  I am wholesome and very normal.  I am the type of woman who shops at J Crew or the woman you'd hire as your divorce attorney. I have a graduate degree, and am worldly, well read and cultured. 

I am not the hot porn star/stripper type. 

at all. 

Describe yourself

funny, fun, smart, sophisticated, nurturing, assertive, private, kind, pretty

I am not at all shy about my body or about telling you exactly what I want/how I want it. 

Do you smoke?

Cigarettes? Never. Tobacco smoking is a vile habit. 

I rarely drink. I workout regularly, wear sunscreen religiously and have excellent sleep habits.

Do you offer cannabis dates? 

If I know you or you have a medical card, you are welcome to smoke all the weed you want during our time together.

I, however, will not indulge as I strongly feel that's unprofessional.  Additionally, I do not drink during our time together. 

Will you be my Mommy? 

of course. Inquire within. And come with money. Lots of money. 

You are a Goddess and should be treated accordingly. 

You're absolutely right. Now click here and say it like you mean it. 

Why don't you have any pictures? 

 I have both a graduate degree and a career outside of this for which I've worked very hard, and am actively involved in my community. 

I am sure, as a gentleman who has a career and a family, you understand my need to maintain my privacy. 

Why should I visit you without knowing what you look like? 

You are a super wealthy man who is terminally ill (I'm so sorry!) and are looking for a woman to spend all your money. Because you are insane and want to relax.  You have wet dreams about funny women.  You are a risk taker. You know a good thing when you see it (or in my case, when you read it). You are a sucker for a pretty face.  You love sensual massage and live in Chicago. You are visiting Chicago and want a sensual massage. You highly value discretion, reliability, trustworthiness and warmth.  You love (bossy) women who genuinely love men and love orgasms without any inhibitions. I acknowledge you're taking a great leap of faith by visiting me sight unseen, and that great leap of faith is something for which I'm incredibly grateful.  ​

If you would like assurances that I am legitimate, I am a long time member of both P411 and RS2K. 

My P411 ID is:  P126364

I am also fairly active on Twitter though I do delete my tweets regularly. Click here to read my tweets.

I want to read reviews about you before I make a decision. 

and I want a billionaire boyfriend to dive face first into my pussy.

I neither have reviews nor want reviews. Reviews are a direct violation of my privacy, and endanger my ability to maintain a stable, anonymous life outside of sensual massage.  If you are the type of man who reads reviews or writes reviews, we are absolutely, positively not compatible. 


What are the loves of your life? 

I love long walks through the city with my dog named Kevin, the city of Chicago, baking, working out, foreign films, luxury travel, reading and flying. I am an avid theatre goer.  I, most obviously, a glutton for punishment as I'm a die hard White Sox fan.  I am a HUGE aviation nerd. I'm that person who tries to fly the inaugural flight of a new route or aircraft. My international vacations are planned around the actual plane rather than the destination. I love new planes, retrofitted cabins, first class lounges, airports and everything else about being in the air. 

What would you like your last meal on Earth to be?

bacon and roasted tomato salad from Bavette's, a bloody and perfectly marbled steak, collard greens, a roasted beet and goat cheese salad and coconut cake with vanilla buttercream frosting for dessert. In my dream world, all of the above would be accompanied by vintage Krug, 1990 and I would eat it ALL!

What's your type of man?  

The kind who gives me money, makes me laugh and makes me orgasm.

What turns you on?

money, romance, being nurtured, filthy minds, filthy sex, tenderness, vulnerability, courage, masculinity (masculinity has nothing to do with what a man looks like), seeing the top of your head between my legs

More than anything, I am deeply aroused by men who have no inhibitions about my body, their body, sex, sexuality or our desires.

The following phrases are also extraordinarily arousing:

I'll take care of it. 

What do you need?

What do you want? 

I would like to leave my entire estate to you. 

I want to pay you lots of money to cum all over my face. 

I want to buy you a gift. Please send me your wishlist. *

You are far too beautiful to ever fly economy again. 

Please allow me to refill your Champagne glass. 

click here for a link to my wishlist. 

I am fantastically handsome, can make you orgasm simply by gazing into your eyes, will pay you quadruple your rate and promise you that I'm not Ted Bundy. May I please meet you without revealing my legal name? 


I matters not to me if you're a P411 member, an RS2K member, a member of the United Nations Council on Foreign Relations, have an AMEX Centurion Card, are a member of Ducks Unlimited or have the biggest dick ever, your full legal name is required in order to spend time with me. That Centurion Card tho. Well, it makes me a little wet just thinking about it. I need you to hand it over. 

I have a lot to lose. I am concerned that you may contact me wife and/or blackmail me. 

I understand why you'd be nervous about providing screening information, because I, too, am an exceptionally private person. 

Rest assured my only concerns with screening are knowing that a. you're not going to physically harm me and b. we are compatible.   Despite my sarcasm and ridiculous jokes, I am very serious about protecting my privacy, protecting your privacy, my safety, discretion and confidentiality.  

I am not comfortable sending a $100 deposit because you may run off to live a life of luxury filled with private jets, luxury handbags, unlimited Olive Garden breadsticks and vacation homes around the world. 


Kindly note that there are no exceptions to my deposit and screening processes.  If there is any resistance to my screening and/or deposit process, I'll have to assume that you're either a man who is not serious or that you're a man who is dangerous.  My only option will be to permanently cease all communication. 


I am really bothered that you are so selective about your clients and that you require screening. Why do you have to make things so difficult? 

I wholly understand why you are bothered. I can relate. I am really bothered when I order a Paloma and the grapefruit juice isn't freshly squeezed.  I seriously want to leave the bar when that happens.  Sometimes I do.  I'm not kidding. (this was written months ago but I am STILL horrified about how poorly the Paloma is made at most bars. Truly horrified. )  Even more tragic is when I am served Champagne only to discover that it's Prosecco. I am equally as bothered by the fact that I am not married to a fat, Jewish, University of Chicago educated millionaire who eats pussy like an Olympic athlete, who loves anal as much as I do and with whom I have spectacular sex 365 days a year. 

  The struggle is real for both of us. 


(yes, I am Jewish) 

​Still want more? 

Click here to follow me on Twitter​

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